Corra

I've read Nico's report on our Saturday run to Corra and back and the truth needs to come out as his account is a pure tissue of lies.

Firstly, I had to wait for 5 minutes as usual for Nico to emerge from his pit. His conception of time is unfortunately for me based on another system. When we agree on 8:30 am to start, he works on some peculiar Chartres timescale and is systematically late. He emerged from his house looking as rough as ever. Apparently, he'd been on the tiles again and I had to coach him carefully over the first few kilometres just to avoid any nasty surprises from his well known dodgy stomach. For those of you who don't know Nico intimately, he has regular stomach upsets and doesn't know why this happens. I'm no doctor, but dear readers, I can now reveal the truth on this subject: alcohol. Years of substance abuse have left their toll on his fragile digestive system, reducing him to the near wreck that we now all recognise.

So having managed to run to the forest without Nico retching violently, we began to pick up speed. This acceleration was reinforced when he saw Laurence and Hélène in front of us. Unfortunately, substance abuse is not his only weakness and the sight of 2 female runners in front of us was enough to turn him crazy with a sudden rise of hormones fuelling his increase in pace. The fact that one of the ladies was my dearest wife did not calm him in the slightest.

After running alongside the ladies for a short while, I was able to encourage him to accelerate again and we returned to our marathon pace of just under 15 km/h along to Corra and around the pond. With my return to shape, I left Nico in the first climb back from the pond and he struggled in my wake, obviously disappointed with his performance. It was all I could do to stop him from walking at this point but we pushed on nevertheless. However, the situation did not improve and after Pavillon de la Muette, I had to feign an injury to reduce the pace without him feeling too conscious about his speed. We talked this through and he was quite visibly relieved to run at this reduced pace.

By the time we arrived back at the forest edge, he was tiring again so this time I stopped to retie my laces just to give him time to recover. We finished the 15km loop in 1:06 which was still very good going for someone in his state and we could possibly beat the record for the course in the near future if he's able to cope with his alcohol addiction.

Just remember that if you want the truth, it's on this site and you read it here.